You gotta have a sense of humour …
You look at stuff and you wonder. Maybe you don’t, maybe a lot of people don’t, maybe they never do. Well, I do. I suppose it’s just me being an awkward cuss but at this stage in the game, I’m pretty reconciled to that. You are what you are, so just chaw down and get on with it. This latest unsolicited example arrived in my inbox and despite the heading, I had a read. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always up for a bit of contrarian alternative wollocks, as the Chinese say, but this one was boringly routine.
I’ll share it with you. Quite frankly, I’m a bit conflicted between HelloBigBoy’s and MaxGentleman’s offerings but the latter does marginally better copy so I’ll share it with you in full.
MaxGentleman Enlargement Pills have been featured across major media outlets around the world, including ESP and Fox News, with dozens of positive reviews.
This is the only Male enlargement supplement that has been PROVEN in clinical trials to enlarge your penis – safely, quickly, and importantly – PERMANENTLY.
Here were the results in 5,000 randomized male subjects who took MaxGentleman for 6 months:
* Increase in penis length by 1-3 inches
* Increase in penis width by 20%.
* Aids in preventing Premature Ejaculation.
* Achieved longer, rock hard erections
* All gains in penis length and width were 100% permanent
MaxGentleman Enlargement pills are also:
* 100% Herbal, 100% Safe
* Doctor Approved and Recommended!
* The only Penis Enlargement pill PROVEN in clinical trials
* No Expensive Doctor Visit Required
* Very Discrete packaging and billing
* 100% Satisfaction & Money Back Guarantee
* 3 FREE Bottles Of MaxGentleman
* Secure State of the Art SSL Encryption.
You might be wondering why I’m sharing such correspondence with you and, rereading it, I’m beginning to have some doubts myself, but anyway, getting back on track, it’s because it encapsulates in perhaps a more explicit form, so much of the crud that’s presented as fact.
It’s all there; screaming headlines, major media outlets, outrageous claims without any substance, expert approved and recommended, appeals to my non-existing “herbal” side, suspiciously round numbers that seem to have a casual error range of 200% and a vacuous guarantee that’s worth the email it’s written on. Why, it even comes with SSL encryption, whatever the hell that is, so it must be sciency. I do wonder about the 100% permanent bit though. Is it possible to have 96.4% permanance?
Of course, the point of the exercise is to extract some dough from me for some dubious benefits to my tadger which I wasn’t aware it was so desperately in need of. Don’t get me wrong on this one, every bloke is interested in the proper care and maintenance of the family jewels but seriously, who’re they trying to kid with this crap?
The sad thing is, there are people who are convinced by this sort of spiel. If there weren’t, it wouldn’t be produced. It makes someone somewhere some money. All reason has fled, hand in hand with Miss Critical Faculty. I suppose there is an element of predation about it; if God didn’t want them fleeced, he wouldn’t have made them sheep.
There is a saying about religion and politics getting together being the road to hell but I think that’s a minor transgression. It’s religion and money getting it on that really redefines hell for the ordinary person. Debate the science as much as you like but it’s really about money. It was always about the money and nothing else.
Give me money and I’ll prove scientifically whatever you want. Keep giving me the money and I’ll happily debate my supposed flawed science via a few proxy press releases. Just make sure your tame journos are onside though.