Friends and Anger 7.

Okay, you’re a woman who wants to learn how to really fight, so first let’s clear your head out of some popular delusions. None of this is up for debate. Just accept what I say or find someone else to train you, because otherwise we’ll just be wasting each other’s time. We’re going to be dealing with some harsh realities, so any time you want out, just say so. It wouldn’t make me disappointed in you; quite the contrary. Okay?


Women are usually violent by using hurtful words, direct and unattributable character assassination or varieties of social exclusion. On the rare occasion it gets physical, it usually involves rolling around on the ground pulling each other’s hair out, scratching each other with nails and some biting. There are exceptions, but that’s the norm. Instinctively, that’s their weapons. That’s not just a male viewpoint, it’s a fact, bite down hard on it. It’s just the way it is. It’s also the way a male aggressor expects a woman to defend herself. You can exploit that expectation.

The entertainment industry is churning out lots of dross movies and TV series showing diminutive women in high heels beating the shit out of two or three or more two hundred pound men. It’s implanted a very dangerous idea in women’s heads that they can stand and match up to a man on equal terms in a fight. That idea is totally false, and that wishful version of reality pandering to some stylish notion of gender equality is getting a lot of women killed or injured.

The average woman pitted against the average man, even a relative weakling, is going to lose unless she takes on board some realities.

The truth is men are stronger, quicker and in one form or another, are used to physical conflict from childhood onwards. The number of times I’ve watched two boys under five play wrestle while a sister ignored them and carefully adjusted her dolly’s corsage. They both know the unwritten rules that are burnt into their DNA – fight hard but no permanent injuries. It’s not something their more-enlightened parents encourage or are best pleased about, but that’s part of that supposedly going extinct thing called masculinity. That’s a basic part of the instincts you get when you have a male child.

There’s two hundred thousand years of Darwinian selection for physical aggression when required in male Homo Sapiens, the latest hominid to appear on the block, but those instincts go back a lot further than that. It’s simply not an attribute women are selected for. And don’t kid yourself, the people doing the sexual selection for just that certain amount of aggressiveness when needed are women, because they want a man who in extremis can fight to protect them and their offspring.

If there’s one thing I can teach a woman about fighting a man, and the most important one, that’s it. Do you understand?


If you’re up against a man, always remember he’ll be physically stronger than you. It doesn’t matter how many afternoons you do in the gym, he’ll be stronger, quicker and a lot more used to real physical conflict than you.

On the plus side, both the average man and woman have a large inhibition against doing any real violence in a fight. That inhibition has been selected for by Darwin over millennia because if the settlement of every dispute between people actually resulted in them trying to kill each other every time, any co-operative effort would be impossible. There could never be any civilisations. The first thing they do when you join an army is they train you in such a way to break down that inbuilt inhibition, and it works. That’s the reason so many veterans can’t cope with normal society.

Never forget, the type of man determined to really hurt a woman simply doesn’t have that inhibition. It’ll be fight back or get beaten up, raped or die.

The first thing to learn about self-defense is situational awareness. If you have a single doubt in your head about the situation, then act like there’s no doubt. Get out of it or better yet, never venture into it. Don’t put yourself into situations where you’re looking vulnerable, in the wrong bad neighbourhood or are looking scared. If you have to venture into an area like that, cultivate a glare that says come near me asshole and you’ll have a real fucking fight on your hands. Do it right and they’ll get the message and find someone easier to prey on.

I’ll begin with defense first, because the odds are women are much more likely to be attacked than them attacking somebody themselves.

I’ll show you some techniques but they’re all part of a more general strategy. Remember when I said a woman can’t stand toe to toe battling it out against a man?


So, bearing in mind that inequality, the strategy is to hurt them as bad and as quickly as you can, force them to let go of you, and then you run like hell, all the time screaming at the top of your voice “Police, help” over and over. Always make for a main street or if it’s nighttime, somewhere there’ll be lots of good lighting.

What do you do?

Hurt them bad and then run screaming police help all the time.

Let’s assume you’re unarmed. I’ll go through the strike areas and the weapons your body can provide.

You have three target areas and possibly a fourth. Primary target is their eyes, secondary their throat, tertiary their bollocks and finally their skin. Okay, what’re your targets?

Eyes, throat, bollocks and skin.

Say it again.

Eyes, throat, bollocks and skin.

Okay, make a fist with your right hand. She duly did so and asked her to point which parts of the fist she’d hit her assailant with. She pointed at the first base joint of each finger with her left forefinger.

Okay, you made three mistakes. The first and worst was you tucked your thumb into your palm and then covered it by closing your fingers over it. You hit anyone with that arrangement, you’ll either sprain or break your own thumb and probably damage your own fingers. Thumb always outside your curled up fingers, never inside. Always outside.

Second, yes, sometimes hitting them with the upper joint of your fingers may be the only move, but you should always be aiming to hit them with your knuckles, because if you can get your shoulder and bodyweight behind the punch, it transmits the impact directly to them. Bone to bone transmitted impact is what you’re looking for. Hitting them with your upper finger joints will cushion the blow because the fingers will get pushed into your palm like a spring compressing on impact. There’s no “give” if you connect your with knuckles.

The third mistake is women, even if they’ve had some boxing training, still hit like girlies. For reasons I’ve never figured out, their natural reaction if grabbed in a face-to-face bear hug and lifted off the ground by an attacker is to slap the aggressor’s chest. Looks great in the movies, but is totally useless in real life.

There are much more effective uses for hands. But when you use them you’ve got to get your head straight and never hesitate. Remind me again, what are your prime target areas.

Eyes, throat, bollocks and skin.

When you use your weapons against them, you have to be running a mantra through your head all the time – I’m fighting for my life, I’m fighting for my life, I’m fighting for my life. You’re not fighting against being beaten up again, or being raped, but fighting for your life. That has to be going through your head again and again as you fight them. What’s the mantra?

I’m fighting for my life.

Say it again.

I’m fighting for my life.


I’m fighting for my life.

The constant advantage you’ll always have is a male aggressor will always underestimate how well a woman can fight if she’s had even a smidgen of training. If he’s too close for you to run away, this is where you deliberately let him grab you so you can get to work on him up close.

So, let’s rule out punching. When it comes to using your hands as weapons, your thumbs and the tips of your fingers are your best bet. If he’s holding you off the ground face to face, you go for the eyes with both thumbs if possible. The moment you see him coming at you from the front with a bear hug in mind, put both arms up into the air so he can’t immobilise them in the hug. If you ever let him pin your arms to your sides, things get much more complex.

Let him grab you around the waist and then drop your arms and get to work with your hands on his eyes or throat. Their eyes are always a better bet, because they’re soft tissue and therefore easier to damage and you’re presenting your attacker with two problems at once; subdue you or save their eyesight. Do it right and they’ll release you.

You do not use the flats of your thumbs to press on his eyeballs, you use the very tips of them and your thumbnail aiming to burst his eyeballs. In general, women have longer and sharper fingernails, which is a distinct advantage when you’ve been pulled into close quarter fighting. You may have noticed, I don’t trim my thumb nails as severely as my finger nails. Too good a weapon at close quarters.

Try and anchor your other fingers at the back of his head to buttress the attack with your thumbs. Press in as hard as you possibly can because remember, you’re fighting for your life. Even if you don’t manage to blind him, his vision will be impaired and he’ll let go of you. What do you do then?

Run like hell, screaming police, help.

I’ll recap the theory. Men are stronger than women, you’ll almost certainly lose any prolonged fight with them, your target areas are eyes, throat, bollocks and skin. Hurt them bad and then run. The mantra that should always be running through your head is “I’m fighting for my life”.

Tonight we’re going to practice that defensive eye assault. Your comparative weakness is physical strength, but that can be more than made up for by executing the right move at extreme high-speed. Never hesitate for a second, or you’re finished. You can use this maneuver in either a frontal attack situation or when someone has been following behind you and you hear them making the final rush towards you. Turn towards them and face into the attack. Tactically, the optimum response is the same.

Start screaming to force them to put one hand over your mouth.

Their shoulders will be down and their arms held out in front of them because their intent is to bear hug you with both arms or one arm about your waist and the other across your mouth to silence your screams. They’ll have pulled you close against their chest. Drop your arms and immediately get to work on his eyeballs. Keep at it until you break one. By this stage he’ll have both his hands on your wrist to save his eyes, which means he’s still got you. Break one or both of his eyeballs, the shock and trauma will be enough to make him let go of you completely. What do you do then?

Run like hell, screaming police help.

If it’s a one hand over your mouth and one around your waist situation, then at the same time you’re raising your arms, you open your mouth as wide as you possibly can. I mean really wide. Wiggle your head from side to side and up and down as forcefully as you can. With luck, you’ll get some part of his hand in your mouth. It’ll be most likely be his little finger or the outside edge of his hand.

A woman’s teeth are actually her best weapon.

You bite and keep on biting down hard until you’ve bitten through the side of his hand or bitten off the little finger. At the same time, you’re attacking his eyes. All the time, use your rage and anger and your mantra to drive you on. It’s him or you and it definitely isn’t fucking well going to be you on this day. I’m fighting for my life here. If you can, spit whatever you’ve bitten off him into your hand as you run. It’ll give you better breathing as you run away and provide identifying DNA on your attacker. These guys always have previous.

We’re going to practice both of those defensive attacks tonight.

The way to build up speed and precision is to start slowly, almost at a snail’s pace and when you’ve got the mechanics of the move perfectly right, we gradually build up the speed until it’s muscle memory executing the move. You’ll only realise you’ve done it after it’s over. Do you understand?

She nodded.

That evening, he spent one hour going through how to escape the pure bear hug attack from the front or the rear. Again and again. As promised, it was in near slow motion with him constantly correcting her technique. No, no, it has to be with the points of your thumbs and your fingers around the back of his head to get purchase for your thumbs. Timing is everything, don’t put your arms up too early. Just before he gets the bear hug on you but not so late that he pins them to your sides.

They took a fifteen minute time out, which she really needed. He’d been meticulous and worked her hard. Every move she made had to be just perfect. Slow but perfect.

They went back to it, and this time practiced the variation of one arm about her waist and the other over her mouth. He was just as demanding. This is all about timing. You have to get those arms up and your mouth as wide open as you can just before he gets to you, but not too late. Don’t hesitate. Be merciless, he’ll let go of you. He ran her through it again and again, always correcting and adjusting. Everything had to be just so until he was satisfied. After an hour of it, he called time.

That’s enough for tonight. The question is, now that you’ve seen what defending yourself can involve, do you want to continue on?

There is not one doubt in my mind. I told you, I never want to be a victim again.

He looked at her steadily and saw she meant it. Go and have a shower and have an early night. You’re not quite fully recovered and I worked you hard. We’ll continue tomorrow evening. Before you fall asleep, visualise all the elements of the moves you’ve learnt tonight, including the corrections, in your head. It’ll help develop your muscle memory of them.

And by the way, you did well for a first lesson.

They fell into a certain pattern. Every evening, he ran her through the drills for two hours. The first hour was always recapping and gradually speeding up moves he’d already taught her until she was surprised at how fast, and as he’d promised, how unthinking and automatic they became. If her concentration lapse for a second, his hit landed on her. People learn fast in the school of hard knocks. The second hour was devoted to teaching her a new move in slow motion with him constantly correcting her technique, no matter how minute, until it was perfect.

You fuck up in this type of situation he told her, it’ll probably be the last thing you ever fuck up. Never lose sight of that.

He went through all the how-to moves; how to break a bear hug from front or behind, how to break various choke holds, how to rake his shins with the heels of her shoes, how to attack his knee caps, how to force him to fall over when trapped in a bear hug and ensure his head cracked open, how to use her prime weapon and what targets on the skin to aim for.

What’s your prime weapon?

My teeth.

He moved on to what he called defense against a kinetic attack, which meant an aggressor boxing and kicking. He taught her how to place her feet, always keep her fists up to protect her face and her elbows against her sides to protect her ribcage, X blocks and other defensive postures. He taught her how to evade a variety of punches and kicks while not allowing herself to be backed up against a wall or into a corner by sliding sideways. After the usual slow mo start, he was throwing full speed punches at her and she was evading them almost automatically.

There’s a saying, if you’re up against a wrestler, then box, if you’re up against a boxer, then wrestle. Unfortunately, neither of those options are open to the average untrained woman. Men are simply too strong. A woman can only survive an attack by a man if she fights on her own terms, never his. If it’s outdoors and at nighttime, they’ll usually try to wrestle you into compliance. If it’s indoors, they’ll usually try to punch you out.

If your attacker is too close for you to get away by running or you’ve been backed into a corner, you have to get in real close to him and using your own weapons of choice is the way out. Even if you’re not trapped, it’s still a very effective counter move. Nearly all untrained attackers will swing at you with both fists. There’s a second when after having thrown one punch and pulling that arm back to deliver another one with it, the other arm is starting to punch towards you.

In that split second, their defenses are down and you jump onto him to get inside good and close. Arms around their head, your legs up and around their waist locked together by your ankles. Pulling against the back of his neck, will aid your jump. There’s a variation of locking your legs around the back of their knees to make them topple over backwards and break their skull if you’re on concrete, but well get to that move.

This has several advantages; you’ll have negated his kinetic attack because he can’t kick at you and you’re too close to him for him to land a decent punch, hence the constant command by boxing referees to “break” when two boxers are in a clinch because in that situation, neither of them can deliver a decent punch. The only move he’s got left is to squeeze the life out of you.

Because your hands are around his head, it’s an easy move to do the usual attack on his eyes with your thumbs while your fingers are anchoring on the back of his head. He started practicing the jump at the usual snail speed, but gradually built up the speed and he was punching at her full speed and she learnt to jump at him in that fraction of a second and immediately begin the eye attack.

They kept working on it each evening, always learning and practicing something new. She was a highly motivated and an apt pupil. At the end of one session she asked, why such a focus on self-defense and not attacking?

A woman killing a reasonably fit man with her bare hands is a rare occurrence. I will teach you how to kill, but that will require weapons training, which we’ll get around to if you wish, but some of the defensive moves I’ve been teaching you are easily adapted to killing moves. All those throat attacks I’ve taught you can be lethal if you learn a bit about human physiology.

How do you mean?

He lifted his chin and placed his forefinger and thumb on his Adam’s apple. He then spread them about three-quarters of an inch each side of his Adam’s apple. He took his finger and thumb away and told her to hold her thumb and forefinger in the same places. She did. He adjusted the placement of her fingers. Press in a little bit harder, but not too hard.

He stayed silent and she gradually felt a sort of pulsing through the tips of her fingers. You have two targets to go after in the throat area. They are called the Carotid arteries. Some people call them the stringers. There are two of them in the neck, one on either side of the Adam’s apple. They branch further up the neck, but the main branch carries blood to the brain.

If you’re in a face to face bear hug with your arms maybe pinned or not, you’ll most probably be a head shorter than your attacker which is a perfect position to use your prime weapon. One good bite into one of the stringers and never let go. They’ll lose conscious very quickly and death follows almost immediately as they bleed out. One you get a mouthful of high-pressure arterial spray, you’ve won. It’s why cutting someone’s throat is so effective. No blood flow to the brain kills it quickly and you’ll also have cut through the larynx, so no screams for help.

Happy now?

She didn’t reply. She now realised there was a gulf between learning to defend herself, no matter how ruthlessly, and killing. Like he constantly reminded her; you have to get your head wrapped around it before it arrives on your doorstep.

He felt what he was teaching her was the was the final crushing of the delicate orchid she once was, but with every combat session, he saw her regaining that self-respect and confidence that shithead had robbed her of. She was getting salty and walking with a certain bounce in her stride. Here was a different and altogether tougher Julia, but one he liked just as much.

For better or worse, she seemed more grown up.


Click here for all currently written chapters of Friends and Anger.

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6 Responses to “Friends and Anger 7.”
  1. Pointman says:

    Do not try any of the self-defense techniques described in this chapter unless you’re under the direct supervision of a qualified instructor. They can be dangerous to both whoever you’re practising on and yourself. In most areas, you’ll find classes in self-defense. Look for one that doesn’t specialise in Judo, Akaido, Ju-Jitsu, Ninjutsu or any of the other myriad styles, but for one that’ll teach you how to look after yourself.

    A good one will tailor what they teach you within the constraints of your gender, fitness level, age and even what disabilities you might have. The biggest benefit of taking such a course is it gives a boost to your confidence.

    Again, do not try any of these moves unless it’s properly supervised.


    Liked by 2 people

  2. JohnTyler says:

    Well, Mr. Pointman, you have obviously been living in another solar system because it is now common knowledge that gender is a social construct and further, gender is fluid; depending how one feels, one can identify – with or without surgery – as female, male or anything in between.
    Of course, skin color and ethnicity are also fluid; but hey, I am just stating the obvious.

    Therefore, there is zero distinction betwixt the capabilities in any skill or activity as a function of gender (which, of course, is a social construct, a fiction, with no biological basis) .

    Any self-identifying female weighing 100 lbs soaking wet in a gender neutral bathing suit (one that has a bra, and a jock strap) can easily kick the living sh*t out of any 200 lb champion MMA fighter, self-identifying “male ” ( which, of course, is a fiction, a social construct; he is no more a “male” than a jellyfish is an elephant !!!) because, well, gender differences are a fiction.

    The ONLY reason that, say, sports events are typically split into “female ” ( really, what is a female anyway?) and “male” is because society is still dominated by hateful, dominating male organisms who hate and discriminate against all non-male carbon based life forms.
    Clearly, if men and women competed in, say, track and field events, the results would show that self identified women – with or without testicles, but wearing a bra- would kick ass.

    Mr. Pointman, let’s hope that in the best traditions of free speech and discourse, Twitter, FB, etc., remove you immediately from social media before you cause any more harm.

    Thank god I have a puppy dog to sooth my frazzled nerves.

    Liked by 2 people

    • 1957chev says:

      John Tyler… You are a Liberal, brainwashed, unintelligent moron. Mr. Pointman, you are wonderful!!! Reality is NOT going to be erased, no matter how hard the lefties try. You are truly wonderful! I will not forget this article! Women NEED to accept reality, not pretend it is different than it truly is!


    • Pointman says:

      Chevvy, John was being sarcastic. Gowon, kiss and make up, please!


      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hari Seldon says:

    I taught my daughters to use their car keys….to the eyes…nice.


  4. Blackswan says:

    She’s certainly been ferried across the Rubicon – there’s no going back to her age of innocence now.

    Raises an interesting factor in the equation … could a woman ever inflict such damaging injury to a man she’d once loved and trusted?

    In this case, only Manno knows she’ll never have to find out.

    However, should any woman ever encounter an anonymous predator putting her in fear of her life, such knowledge could well make all the difference.

    While shrill street marchers wearing silly pussy hats and shrieking about ‘equality’ never saved any woman from harm, this story may well do exactly that.

    Liked by 1 person

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